I went to Rome for the weekend a few weeks ago, but I didn’t go alone. I went with Cazz. We have big problems trying to keep apart. The magnetism that pulls us together won’t let up for very long. I won’t pretend any longer that things are different this time. They aren’t. They are always and forever the same- back and forth until one of us falls. And though I feel that I am in a new frame of mind, the overall picture is very much as it always is.

So we went to the Eternal City to look at the past, to look toward the future and to interpret the present. And I was of a mind that this outing would very possibly be, our last. We traveled around the city, awestruck by the beauty, immersed in the ruins. We touched and were touched. The hot sun was fearless and unrepentant. We sweated rivers and oceans and hardly noticed at all. Something new. At least if we were the same, we could bask in the joy of the one tiny difference. Sometimes and for some people, when a problem seems unsolvable, it is wise to change environments and get some perspective brought on by a different atmosphere.

There was some stress on the trip, as my stomach would not settle for the life of me. But in the midst of that, we found some peace. The greatness of the city made us humble. I realized how small we are, and how temporary this life. How fear and war can get us from one century to the next, but how much more lasting is hope and love. With these thoughts swirling around my head, we found a bit of grass in a park overlooking the city and took a nap, while the sun made its way towards the other side of the world.

I won’t say that we were different after, or spectacularly changed. I don’t pretend that a weekend can resolve the deep issues that we continue to trudge through. And I can’t even say that I know what to do next. But since I don’t know what to do, I’m not going to do anything for the moment. I’m going to stop, reflect and let the waves that ebb and flow in the ocean of my life, continue to ebb and flow, while the sun continues to fearlessly cast shadows on an Eternal City somewhere in the middle of a boot.