Italy calls to me. Today I did things geared toward moving. I did a rough-pack of my suitcases, discovering that I have far too many “necessary” things to bring and a strong desire to not lug my too-heavy bags up several flights of stairs to Cazzatore’s place, only to lug them back down as soon as I find my own place. I also have been spending some time looking at apartments in Florence, online. There are very few listings for shared rooms, and many listings for apartments, which are a little out of my price range. I have had an offer from one of my previous Italian bosses, to rent a room in a Palazzo from him for 200 Euro a month. The problem is that there are no cooking facilities. 200 Euro a month begins to be a lot more when you have to go out to eat for every meal. And I’m not sure if it has Internet access, and it doesn’t have a washer/dryer. However, it is in a great location and it’s quiet, considering it’s at the back of a garden. And the one window looks into an enclosed courtyard with a banana tree. I am torn, though I do realize the importance of getting my own place, and am excited to be on my way towards living an actual Italian lifestyle. And Cazzatore will get the space he needs to chase away those Commitment Demons.

I am also daydreaming about buying a bicicletta when I get there, so I can zoom all over Florence like the locals do. Of course, if I didn’t have a bike, I could always get more rides on Direttore’s, which is a tempting thought. But I must assert my Italian independence and ride my way into glory. But speaking of transportation, I am having a bit of a difficult time selling my car. I have had no takers thus far. It will be really nice when it’s sold and the only issue I have to deal with is pumping up my tires and hoping nobody steals my ride.

It is rather difficult, with all of these daydreams, to live in the moment. My mind and heart are already abroad, and my body feels weighted from dragging behind. One day at a time, I struggle to think about what I need to do in this moment, and people I would like to spend time with. I will miss my friends and family, I am sure, though I am thrilled to be starting my own life, somewhere a little different than anyone expected. I don’t know what will happen, or if I will return to California and I really shouldn’t think about it. My heart beats a little faster just knowing that the road before me is open, and that I am taking a big step into the world. And at this moment, I am taking a little step to my Italian class to take a test. I haven’t studied, nor am I going to study, but I think, in the long run, it will turn out all right.