We had a lot of fun last night. We were drinking and laughing, and at one point C.R. and I went into the lobby to get some sushi to-go. We sat at the bar while it was being made, and a very cute bartender asked what we wanted. We decided not to get any drinks for the time being. Then he asked if we drank sake. Indeed. He went over and poured us two shots of a really delicious sake, gratis. Delicious sake with delicious bartender. Excellent. We chatted and joked with him for awhile, and then when our food arrived and we were leaving, he poured another shot for me (C.R. declined) and himself. This was a rather exciting evening because I love to flirt. We will go tonight for more sake before we go to a Cirque du Soleil show. I look forward to it.
I had a dream last night that caused me some discomfort. First a little background. Yesterday evening, when we went to dinner, there was a group of people sitting next to us and I suddenly realized they were speaking another language. The gentleman closest to us was a very handsome man, who looked a lot like my ex from Brasil. And I realized they were speaking Brazilian Portuguese. Now, I have never really dealt with the fallout from the Brasil relationship. I moved into something else very quickly, and have tried my hardest to just not think about it. This is easy when I’m with Cazzatore. All other times are difficult.
The relationship was a good one. My ex was a very wonderful person who I loved very much. A lack of love wasn’t the problem-we ended our relationship due to circumstances, and then he met someone and then I met someone. But he was very pro-commitment. And I was very afraid of it. Cazzatore is also very afraid of it. So now and again, when I start to think about the whole web I’ve woven, I become a little sad and a little afraid. The man at the table next to us at dinner brought that all up. And so, the dream…
I was talking to Mr. Brazilian in a park, but it was in Brasil. He was flirty. Then, his fiancée walked up. Uh oh… awkward. So I walked towards the park exit. On my left was a pool/tank, and in that, was my ex-boyfriend giving scuba diving lessons. I saw him, but he didn’t see me, so I walked to the end and asked someone to get his attention. He came out and we hugged tightly for several minutes without saying anything, and I buried my nose in his neck. Then the place we were standing was actually a bus which began to move. We didn’t get any time to speak, and I had to get off the bus. That was part one of the dream.
The second part involved Cazzatore and C.R. C.R. and her husband were mad at me for something I had said, and couldn’t be my friends anymore. I saw Cazzatore and we hugged like mad for a few minutes, but it was awkward because they were there and were angry with me. This was a very strange dream. It involved a lot of things that I do not want to deal with. And it wasn’t the first uncomfortable dream involving my ex. I imagine this means that these are things I must deal with, whether I would like to or not. I can push and push them to the periphery, but in the end, they will be at the forefront.
Six.
5 Comments
Apparently you are in Italy by now ? According to your friend , who said to drop by and say hello.
November 10, 2008 at 12:17 pmI was in Florence in September – WHAT a gorgeous place. Lucky you ! 🙂
Hi there! Michelle from Bleeding Espresso directed me to your blog and I have just finished reading the entire thing. I am hooked.
I live in Argentina now, but Florence is what my heart is made of – though my family is from Lucca (and some are still there), which is an hour away from Florence, I’m a Fiorentina nel cuore, all the way. 🙂 So it was nice to read your blog. When my Italian citizenship finally comes through I’ll make my way back to the Arno if I can convince my Italian-passport-holding Argentinean boyfriend to join me. 🙂
I too had the strangest dreams and all sorts of personal issues creep up before I moved to Italy.
I’m not sure why all of that stuff has to happen just when we’re trying to focus on going, but I think the timing has something to do with the fact that since you are about to embark on something that is totally life-changing, all of the other big moments in your life, which probably changed it, come back to you. It’s like you do one big thing and you are reminded of everything else all at once.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey through life and love, and I must say – today I was all geared up to make a Mediterranean rice salad for lunch with artichokes and olives, but after reading your blog I have such a craving for spaghetti al pomodoro. Think I’ll head to the market to get some tomatoes and make a sauce. 😉 The salad can wait until dinner time.
Besos from Buenos Aires,
November 10, 2008 at 12:48 pmTina
Michele sent me over! How exciting to think that you’ll soon be one of us! I’m in Milan, have been in Italy since 1994, it’s pretty much home now, looking forward to getting to know you better!
November 10, 2008 at 3:07 pmAmare, we are all here courtesy of Michelle to blog-hug you in your new home. Your writing is wonderful and keep focusing on those dreams.
I am in Piemonte — a few hours north of you.
Welcome to Italy. You are not alone — lots of sistas out there…
November 10, 2008 at 3:41 pmThank you all so much for visiting my blog and sending your warm thoughts and wishes. It is so very inspiring to hear from other people who are dreaming, and working to make their dreams a reality. I so appreciate every comment and every visit to this thing that has helped me with an incredible life change. I hope it inspires others as well.
November 13, 2008 at 6:42 am