So, today I have agreed to move into a new room. I had been waiting for two girls to decide between me and another one, and they chose me. This was difficult because at the same time, I was offered the possibility to stay in the apartment where I currently am, which is 150 euro cheaper and a great location. Cazzatore has already decided to move out by the end of January, so I would not still be living with him. I stressed about this all night, because I had to make my decision this morning. Finally I took the other room, for the following reasons:
1) There is no heat here.
2) I’m not sure I want to wander around the apartment with the ghost of the man/relationship
3) There will be 4-5 people living here, but I’m not sure who, because everybody here now will be leaving.
4) There is a serious lack of hot water.
5) The other apartment is more expensive, but it’s in a lovely neighborhood by the steps up to Piazzale Michaelangelo, a single room, with heat, and two girls that I met who are very nice. It’s also pretty close to where I am now.
6) I think it’s important to start my own life, on my terms.
7) The landlady here is jerky, and wants to stay here, and then wants everybody out by July, so I would have to find a room anyways.
I am afraid. Cazzatore and I will not be living together anymore, so I fear that we will not see each other often. The plan was always for us to live separately, but now that it’s happening, I’m not ready. I will be really living on my own, with no safety net. I don’t have a job yet, so I don’t really know how much money I will make per month. I also have to go out and buy blankets and all of those things that I was able to use here for free.
This is going to be a big year of changes, and I hope I can handle it.
2 Comments
You’ll be okay. You’ll always be okay because these things always work out, even when we are afraid of what may or may not happen.
Leap and the net will appear. 🙂
That is one of my favorite neighborhoods by the way. Near Piazzale Michelangelo.
Merry Christmas!
December 26, 2008 at 12:38 amIt’s really, really hard to take that leap of faith and start a new, sudden life all on your own two feet. I know how you’re feeling. Phoenix is a whole world a part from the Bay Area-politically, culturally. You and I are nomads, and that just means that we are a whole shit load stronger than most people. Unfortunately, being lonely comes with the spirit of adventure and independence. I hell of respect you, Lindsay! Cheers to standing, and occasionally falling, on one’s own two feet.
December 30, 2008 at 12:34 am